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276+ Funny Responses to What’s for Dinner The Ultimate Comeback Collection

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We’ve all been there—standing in the kitchen, mentally exhausted, when someone cheerfully asks, “What’s for dinner?” It’s a simple question that can feel like the weight of the world, especially when you’ve asked yourself the same thing seventeen times already.

This comprehensive guide delivers 276+ hilarious responses that perfectly capture the frustration, sarcasm, and pure comedy of this daily domestic interrogation.

Classic Sarcastic Responses to “What’s for Dinner?”

These timeless funny responses to what’s for dinner have been battle-tested by exhausted home cooks everywhere.

The “Figure It Out Yourself” Category

  1. Whatever you’re making.
  2. Food. Definitely food.
  3. I don’t know, what are YOU making?
  4. The same thing we have every night—whatever appears magically.
  5. Whatever’s in the fridge that hasn’t evolved consciousness yet.
  6. Reservations. Make them.
  7. Use your imagination.
  8. Whatever doesn’t require me to touch raw chicken.
  9. Air sandwiches with a side of figure-it-out.
  10. Leftovers from the meal I haven’t cooked yet.

The “Food, Obviously” Responses

  1. Edible items, assembled on plates.
  2. Nutrition in various forms.
  3. Sustenance for survival.
  4. Things that won’t kill us, probably.
  5. Calories. You need those, right?
  6. Whatever the food pyramid suggests, but in reverse order.
  7. Molecules arranged into digestible matter.
  8. Something from one of the four food groups—disappointment doesn’t count.
  9. Organic matter that’s been dead less than a week.
  10. Fuel for your body, delivered with attitude.

The “Avoiding the Question Entirely” Comebacks

  1. What? I can’t hear you. What? I can’t hear you.
  2. That’s what she said.
  3. Ask me again and find out.
  4. Who are you and why do you keep calling me Mom/Dad?
  5. I plead the Fifth.
  6. No habla inglés.
  7. Error 404: Dinner not found.
  8. Let me consult my crystal ball.
  9. The real question is, what ISN’T for dinner?
  10. Why don’t you tell me?

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Hilariously Passive-Aggressive Dinner Responses

hilarious-responses-to-whats-for-dinner
hilarious-responses-to-whats-for-dinner

When someone asks what’s for dinner tonight, sometimes passive aggression is the only language that gets the message across.

The “Did You Check the Fridge?” Collection

  1. Whatever you find when YOU open the fridge.
  2. The same stuff that was in there when you looked 20 minutes ago.
  3. Go look. It’s a surprise for both of us.
  4. Whatever’s been in there since last Tuesday.
  5. I don’t know, did you check behind the mayonnaise?
  6. Probably that thing in the Tupperware that nobody can identify.
  7. Whatever YOU bought at the grocery store. Oh wait…
  8. The fridge contents will reveal themselves to the chosen one.
  9. Schrödinger’s leftovers—both good and expired simultaneously.
  10. Whatever survived the great fridge purge of yesterday.

The “I’m Not a Mind Reader” Replies

  1. Let me just check my psychic dinner hotline.
  2. Hold on while I consult the spirits.
  3. My mind-reading abilities are broken today.
  4. I’m sorry, my crystal ball is in the shop.
  5. Do I look like I have a direct line to the dinner gods?
  6. You think I wake up with a meal plan tattooed on my forehead?
  7. If I knew that, I’d be a fortune teller, not a cook.
  8. Let me dust off my magic eight ball.
  9. I don’t know, what does your inner voice tell you?
  10. How about you surprise us all?

The “Whatever You’re Cooking” Zingers

  1. Whatever you bring home from the drive-thru.
  2. Whatever you’re picking up on your way home.
  3. I’m making reservations—you’re making the drive.
  4. Whatever requires the least amount of MY effort.
  5. Your choice, your cooking, your cleanup.
  6. Whatever doesn’t involve me standing in front of a stove.
  7. Something delicious that you’re about to prepare.
  8. Whatever YOU have planned for us.
  9. Your specialty—takeout menus and a phone.
  10. Collaboration cuisine—you cook, I’ll supervise.

Pop Culture & Movie Reference Comebacks

These funny comebacks to what’s for dinner pull from our favorite TV shows, movies, and internet culture.

TV Show Inspired Responses

  1. Winter is coming, and so is pizza delivery.
  2. That’s what she ordered—for delivery.
  3. How YOU doin’? Making dinner, that’s how.
  4. Pivot! PIVOT! To the nearest restaurant.
  5. We were on a break—from cooking!
  6. The tribe has spoken—it’s takeout night.
  7. This is the way—to the drive-thru.
  8. May the forks be with you, because you’re cooking.
  9. I solemnly swear I am up to no good—ordering pizza counts.
  10. That’s gold, Jerry! Gold! Like this Chinese food.

Movie Quote Dinner Comebacks

  1. Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn—cereal for everyone.
  2. You can’t handle the truth—we’re having leftovers!
  3. I’ll have what she’s having—delivered to the door.
  4. Houston, we have a problem—it’s called no dinner plan.
  5. You’re gonna need a bigger plate—of takeout.
  6. Here’s looking at you, kid—while you make dinner.
  7. I see dead people—in the back of the freezer.
  8. Life is like a box of chocolates—we’re having chocolate for dinner.
  9. Just keep swimming—to the grocery store.
  10. To infinity and beyond—my cooking abilities.

Meme-Worthy Responses

  1. Not today, Satan. Not today.
  2. This is fine—while everything burns.
  3. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
  4. It is what it is—and it is NOT gourmet.
  5. I can has cheeseburger? From the drive-thru?
  6. Much hungry. Very dinner. Wow.
  7. One does not simply plan dinner.
  8. Y u no make dinner yourself?
  9. Surprise! It’s nothing.
  10. But that’s none of my business.

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Brutally Honest “I Don’t Know Yet” Responses

Sometimes the most honest response to what’s for dinner is admitting you have absolutely no clue.

The “Stop Asking Me” Category

  1. I don’t know, stop asking.
  2. If I knew, you’d know.
  3. Ask me one more time and see what happens.
  4. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.
  5. Your guess is as good as mine.
  6. TBD—To Be Determined, or To Be Delivered.
  7. I’m still processing today, let alone dinner.
  8. The dinner menu is pending executive decision.
  9. Stop stressing me!
  10. I literally just finished breakfast, chill.

The “It’s Only 9 AM” Comebacks

  1. It’s 9 AM, are you serious right now?
  2. Can I finish my coffee before planning dinner?
  3. I haven’t even thought about lunch yet.
  4. Dude, it’s breakfast time. Relax.
  5. Come back in 8 hours.
  6. I’m still in my pajamas and you’re asking about dinner?
  7. Let me live in this moment.
  8. My brain doesn’t function at this hour for dinner decisions.
  9. Ask me after noon.
  10. I’m not emotionally prepared for the dinner question yet.

The “Ask Me When I Care” Responses

  1. Ask me when I care.
  2. I’ll think about dinner when dinner thinks about me.
  3. My give-a-damn is broken.
  4. When I have an answer, you’ll be the first to know.
  5. Currently accepting zero questions about dinner.
  6. My dinner planning office hours are closed.
  7. Not available for dinner discussions at this time.
  8. I’ll care about dinner when dinner pays my bills.
  9. Ask future me—current me is unavailable.
  10. I’m on vacation from dinner decisions.

Creative & Absurd Funny Dinner Answers

When someone asks what’s for dinner, why not get wildly creative with your funny response?

Completely Made-Up Menu Items

  1. Unicorn steaks with pixie dust.
  2. Dragon eggs over easy.
  3. Roasted griffin with a side of imagination.
  4. Mermaid tail filets.
  5. Sautéed wishes and dreams.
  6. Grilled disappointment with hope sauce.
  7. Baked nonsense with confusion glaze.
  8. Fried regrets with a sprinkle of chaos.
  9. Braised audacity with sarcasm reduction.
  10. Poached patience in frustration broth.

Exotic & Ridiculous Food Suggestions

  1. Haggis. Go look it up.
  2. Fermented shark from Iceland.
  3. Deep-fried butter on a stick.
  4. Casu marzu—that’s cheese with live maggots.
  5. Balut—fertilized duck egg.
  6. Century eggs and durian smoothie.
  7. Rocky Mountain oysters. Google them.
  8. Lutefisk—gelatinous fish.
  9. Fried tarantulas.
  10. Stargazy pie—fish heads sticking out.

The “Science Experiment” Responses

  1. Whatever doesn’t explode in the microwave.
  2. Science experiment #47.
  3. Mystery casserole—results pending.
  4. Chemistry project leftovers.
  5. Whatever survives the cooking process.
  6. Experimental fusion cuisine—emphasis on experimental.
  7. A culinary adventure you didn’t sign up for.
  8. Whatever happens when I press random buttons.
  9. Pinterest fail on a plate.
  10. Cooking roulette—may the odds be ever in your favor.

Witty “What’s for Dinner?” Comebacks for Parents

When your kids ask what’s for dinner, these funny responses perfectly capture parental exhaustion.

The “Whatever Doesn’t Get Complained About” Category

  1. Whatever you don’t complain about.
  2. Food that you’ll say “yuck” to anyway.
  3. Something you won’t eat, as usual.
  4. Whatever looks good until it’s on your plate.
  5. The same thing you rejected last week.
  6. Something you’ll claim you’ve never had before.
  7. Food that you’ll suddenly develop an allergy to.
  8. Whatever you liked yesterday but hate today.
  9. Something that’s not pizza, so you’ll be disappointed.
  10. Real food—I know, shocking.

Kid-Targeted Sarcastic Responses

  1. Vegetables. All of them.
  2. Broccoli surprise—the surprise is there’s more broccoli.
  3. Brussels sprouts à la carte.
  4. Spinach casserole with a kale garnish.
  5. Liver and onions.
  6. The stuff you said you’d try but won’t.
  7. Grown-up food.
  8. Whatever builds character.
  9. Nutrition. Look it up.
  10. The opposite of chicken nuggets.

The “Eat It or Starve” Collection

  1. Food. Take it or leave it.
  2. What’s served, that’s what.
  3. You’ll eat what’s on the table and like it.
  4. Option A: what I make. Option B: hunger.
  5. This isn’t a restaurant, kiddo.
  6. Whatever I decide in the next 10 minutes.
  7. You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
  8. The same answer it was 5 minutes ago.
  9. Food that requires gratitude, not criticism.
  10. Whatever keeps you alive another day.

Spouse-Directed Dinner Question Comebacks

These witty responses to what’s for dinner are specially crafted for your significant other.

The “You Tell Me” Responses

  1. I don’t know, what are you making?
  2. Whatever you decide.
  3. You’re the adult too—you tell me.
  4. I’ve made dinner the last 47 nights, you do the math.
  5. Whatever you’re cooking tonight.
  6. Let’s consult the person who’s not me.
  7. I’ve decided you’re deciding.
  8. Tag, you’re it.
  9. I’m off duty—your turn.
  10. Whatever brilliant idea you come up with.

The “Whoever Gets Home First Cooks” Zingers

  1. Whoever gets home first decides.
  2. Last one home cooks.
  3. Rock, paper, scissors for cooking duty.
  4. I call NOT IT!
  5. Dibs on not cooking.
  6. Your turn, I cooked last night.
  7. According to my records, you’re up.
  8. The cooking schedule says it’s your night.
  9. I did breakfast, you got this.
  10. I’m emotionally unavailable for cooking tonight.

The “Your Turn to Decide” Category

  1. You choose tonight.
  2. Surprise me—but make it edible.
  3. Whatever you want, as long as you make it.
  4. Your pick, your preparation.
  5. I’m out of ideas—your turn.
  6. You decide—I’m done thinking for today.
  7. I’ve made enough decisions today, this one’s yours.
  8. Whatever stops you from asking me again.
  9. Use that decision-making power you have.
  10. I’m delegating this task to you.

Self-Deprecating Funny Responses About Cooking Skills

When someone asks what’s for dinner, sometimes honesty about your cooking abilities is the best funny comeback.

The “Whatever Doesn’t Burn” Collection

  1. Whatever doesn’t set off the smoke alarm.
  2. Hopefully something edible.
  3. Whatever survives my cooking attempt.
  4. Charcoal—I mean chicken.
  5. Burnt offerings.
  6. Something between raw and incinerated.
  7. Whatever doesn’t require actual cooking skills.
  8. The fire department’s least favorite meal.
  9. Smoke alarm symphony with a side of regret.
  10. Culinary chaos on a plate.

The “Cereal is a Valid Dinner” Responses

  1. Cereal. It’s what’s for dinner.
  2. Breakfast food—dinner rules don’t apply anymore.
  3. Cold cereal, hot debate.
  4. Whatever comes in a box and requires milk.
  5. Frosted Flakes—they’re grrreat for dinner.
  6. Cap’n Crunch leading the dinner charge.
  7. Lucky Charms—magically delicious for any meal.
  8. Cheerios—because I’m cheerful about not cooking.
  9. Raisin Bran—the adult choice for dinner.
  10. Fruit Loops—at least there’s fruit in the name.

The “Take-Out Menu” Comebacks

  1. Whatever the delivery guy brings.
  2. Ask DoorDash.
  3. Check the takeout menu on the fridge.
  4. Whatever’s got a 4-star rating on Yelp.
  5. Chinese, Thai, or Italian—you pick.
  6. The number for Pizza Hut.
  7. Whatever arrives in 30 minutes or less.
  8. Food that someone else cooks.
  9. The daily special from Not My Kitchen.
  10. Cuisine from the Restaurant of Someone Else’s Problem.

Regional & Cultural Funny Dinner Responses

These funny responses to what’s for dinner capture regional flavors and cultural humor.

Southern-Style Sassy Comebacks

  1. Bless your heart, whatever I make.
  2. Sweet tea and prayers.
  3. Whatever the good Lord provides.
  4. Fixin’s and such.
  5. Whatever’s in the Crock-Pot since this morning.
  6. Supper—we call it supper here, darlin’.

Midwest Passive-Aggressive Responses

  1. Oh, you know, just something.
  2. Whatever I can throw together, I suppose.
  3. Probably hot dish.
  4. Ope, let me just check what we’ve got.
  5. Casserole—it’s always casserole.
  6. Whatever’s Minnesota nice.

Northeast Direct & Blunt Answers

  1. I don’t know, what do I look like, a mind reader?
  2. You got a problem with leftovers?
  3. Whatever—we’ll figure it out.
  4. Stop asking me questions.
  5. Food. That’s it. That’s the answer.
  6. Whatever I feel like making, or not making.

Seasonal & Holiday-Themed Responses to “What’s for Dinner?”

These seasonal funny comebacks acknowledge the unique stress of different times of year.

Thanksgiving Survival Comebacks

  1. Leftovers. Obviously leftovers.
  2. The same turkey we’ve been eating for four days.
  3. More stuffing—there’s always more stuffing.
  4. Whatever fits in the overstuffed fridge.
  5. Thanksgiving part 7: The Final Feast.
  6. Turkey sandwiches until December.

Holiday Exhaustion Responses

  1. Whatever Santa doesn’t bring.
  2. Reheated Christmas ham again.
  3. Something not festive—I’m festive’d out.
  4. Whatever doesn’t require holiday spirit.
  5. Regular food—no more special occasion meals.
  6. Post-holiday depression on a plate.

Summer BBQ Season Zingers

  1. Whatever doesn’t require turning on the oven.
  2. Grilled something—haven’t decided what yet.
  3. Salad, because it’s too hot to cook.
  4. Whatever the neighbors are grilling—I can smell it.
  5. Corn on the cob and hope.
  6. Ice cream. It’s basically dairy, right?

Conclusion

Whether you’re a exhausted parent, overwhelmed spouse, or just someone tired of answering what’s for dinner every single day, these 276+ funny responses give you permission to laugh at the absurdity of meal planning. Remember, humor is sometimes the only thing standing between you and a complete kitchen meltdown.

Use these witty comebacks wisely, share them with fellow frustrated home cooks, and know you’re not alone in this daily dinner dilemma.

FAQ’s

What are some funny responses to “What’s for dinner?”

Funny responses use sarcasm or humor, like joking that dinner is “whatever doesn’t set off the smoke alarm” or playfully shifting the responsibility to the asker.

How do I respond sarcastically to “What’s for dinner?”

Sarcastic replies work best when lighthearted, such as pretending to consult a crystal ball or suggesting the answer is hiding somewhere in the fridge.

What are good comebacks when someone asks what’s for dinner?

Good comebacks match your mood, whether that’s a pop-culture joke, an honest excuse, or a playful comment about avoiding effort in the kitchen.

How do you humorously answer the dinner question?

Humorous answers often rely on self-deprecating jokes, exaggeration, or absurd food ideas to keep the moment fun and pressure-free.

What’s a witty response to “What’s for dinner tonight?”

Witty responses cleverly dodge the question by shifting the decision or hinting at takeout, all while keeping the tone playful.

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