177+ Best Funny Monday Quotes to Beat the Monday Blues

Mondays get a bad reputation, but they don’t have to be terrible. Whether you’re dealing with Monday blues or just need a mood booster to kick off your workweek, these funny Monday quotes will help you laugh your way into a fresh start. 

From relatable workplace humor to motivational Monday quotes that inspire action, this collection has everything you need to transform your Monday mindset.

Hilarious Monday Morning Quotes to Start Your Day with a Laugh

• “Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead and need coffee immediately.”
• “Monday morning is wonderful. Its only problem is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
• “My alarm clock and I are not on speaking terms every Monday.”
• “Good morning is a contradiction of terms on Monday. Let’s be honest about that.”
• “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might actually be awake.”
• “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
• “Waking up early on Monday should be considered a extreme sport.”
• “Birds scream at the top of their lungs every morning to warn us all, but sadly we don’t speak bird.”
• “Monday morning thoughts: Do I really need this job? Can I become a professional napper?”
• “The weekend over feeling hits different when your alarm clock starts screaming at you.”
• “When reality and dreams collide, it’s just your alarm going off on Monday.”
• “I don’t need an alarm clock on Monday. The sheer dread wakes me up automatically.”
• “Caffeine and I have a very special relationship every Monday. It’s called dependency.”
• “My mission on Monday morning is simple: survive until coffee kicks in.”
• “Early mornings were invented by people who hate happiness and love suffering.”
• “Monday mornings prove that time travel exists. Five minutes of sleep feels like five seconds.”
• “The groggy feeling on Monday is my body’s way of protesting against weekday existence.”
• “Before coffee mood on Monday: Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t breathe near me.”
• “I wake up every morning at nine and check if I’m still alive. On Mondays, I’m disappointed.”
• “Tiredness on Monday morning is a whole different level of exhaustion. It’s existential.”
• “My Monday morning routine: Hit snooze. Regret life choices. Eventually get up. Need coffee.”
• “Sleepiness on Monday should be classified as a medical condition requiring immediate caffeine treatment.”
• “The beginning of the week always feels like a personal attack on my will to live.”
• “Monday blues start the moment Sunday evening arrives. It’s called Sunday night anxiety for a reason.”
• “When life gives you Monday morning, make an espresso. Or five. Who’s counting anyway?”
• “I hate mornings, but I especially hate Monday mornings. They’re the worst kind of mornings.”
• “Coffee is nature’s way of apologizing for creating Mondays in the first place.”
• “Need coffee is not just a statement on Monday. It’s a desperate cry for help.”
• “The weekend hangover is real, and it has nothing to do with drinking. It’s pure Monday shock.”
• “Waking up early on Monday feels like being punished for enjoying your weekend too much.”

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Funny Monday Quotes for Work and the Office

• “The brain is wonderful. It starts working when you wake up and doesn’t stop until you get to the office.”
• “So, Monday, we meet again. We’ll never be friends, but maybe we can have a professional relationship.”
• “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
• “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit.”
• “My resume is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do on Monday.”
• “Employers are happiest on Mondays. Employees are happiest on Fridays. This explains everything about workplace dynamics.”
• “I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult on a Monday of all days.”
• “This is proof that Monday wants me dead. Friday would never betray me like this.”
• “The return to routine on Monday is like putting on pants after a weekend in pajamas. Uncomfortable and unnecessary.”
• “Office life on Monday: Everyone pretending they didn’t spend the weekend doing absolutely nothing productive.”
• “I hate when I lose things at work on Monday. Like my pens, papers, sanity, and will to live.”
• “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
• “Monday at the office is just eight hours of pretending you didn’t see those emails all weekend.”
• “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Especially on Monday.”
• “The problem with doing nothing is you never know when you’re finished. This is my Monday strategy.”
• “Meetings on Monday morning should be illegal. It’s basically torture before coffee.”
• “I give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, 5% Friday.”
• “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.”
• “Workplace humor on Monday: We’re all just pretending we know what we’re doing until Friday.”
• “The biggest thrill isn’t winning on Sunday, it’s meeting the payroll on Monday. Ask any boss.”
• “Teamwork on Monday means we all suffer together, united in our collective exhaustion.”
• “Deadlines on Monday are particularly cruel. Couldn’t they wait until Wednesday at least?”
• “Commute traffic on Monday is everyone’s punishment for having enjoyed their weekend too much.”
• “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays. The receipt is attached.”
• “Sarcasm is my default mode on Monday mornings. It’s a survival mechanism for office life.”
• “Leadership on Monday: Looking like you have everything together while internally screaming.”
• “Responsibility hits different on Monday. Suddenly you remember you’re an actual adult with actual job duties.”
• “Traffic jokes are only funny until you’re stuck in Monday morning gridlock for an hour.”
• “Professional life on Monday: Fake it till you make it to Tuesday.”
• “Career growth starts with surviving Monday without quitting. Everything else is bonus progress.”

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Short Funny Monday Quotes Perfect for Social Media

• “Monday: The day I bravely put on real clothes and pretend to be functional.”
• “Dear Monday, nobody likes you. Please go away. Sincerely, everyone.”
• “If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Repeatedly.”
• “Monday blues are just God’s way of testing your patience and coffee tolerance.”
• “Mondays are for people with a mission. I’m just here for the paycheck.”
• “When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle anyway.”
• “Monday is proof that we survived the weekend. Barely, but we made it.”
• “Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays. Science fact.”
• “Monday is like that annoying song stuck in your head all week long.”
• “I’m not saying I hate Monday, but it ranks right up there with mosquitoes.”
• “Monday morning: Where dreams go to die and coffee becomes a personality.”
• “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life. Bumpy and unavoidable.”
• “Be a rebel. Have a great day on Monday anyway. Show that day who’s boss.”
• “Monday is a state of mind. A very grumpy, caffeine-deprived state of mind.”
• “Positive attitude on Monday is rare. Like seeing a unicorn rare.”
• “Monday and I have an understanding. I pretend to like it, it pretends not to destroy me.”
• “New week, same me, different level of exhaustion already.”
• “Monday motivation: Don’t die before coffee. That’s literally it.”
• “Fresh start sounds nice until you realize it’s still Monday underneath.”
• “Optimism on Monday morning is just poorly disguised denial. But whatever works.”
• “Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday. Fake it till Friday.”
• “Monday is just a reminder that the weekend set you up for disappointment.”
• “Good vibes on Monday? That’s called caffeine, my friend.”
• “Cheerful tone on Monday is suspicious. What do you know that I don’t?”
• “Monday humor is the only thing standing between me and total breakdown.”
• “Witty lines won’t fix Monday, but they make it slightly more bearable.”
• “One-liners for Monday: Just surviving. That’s the whole joke.”
• “Relatable humor: We all hate Monday. We’re all tired. We all need coffee.”
• “Mood booster needed every Monday morning. Preferably in liquid form with caffeine.”
• “Stress relief on Monday comes from knowing everyone else is suffering too.”

Inspirational Monday Quotes with a Funny Twist

• “Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction. On Monday, just wake up. That’s enough.”
• “Mondays are the start of the workweek, offering new beginnings 52 times a year. Lucky us.”
• “Success doesn’t come from what you do occasionally. It comes from surviving every Monday.”
• “Monday morning is a blank canvas. Paint it bold. Or just paint it coffee brown.”
• “Let your hustle be louder than your Monday blues. But first, coffee.”
• “Monday is the key that unlocks the week’s potential. Or the key to more stress. Depends on perspective.”
• “Begin your new week with a smile, a plan, and a ridiculously strong cup of coffee.”
• “Mondays are for go-getters. I’m more of a go-back-to-bedder, but I’m trying.”
• “Don’t count the days. Make the days count. Starting with making Monday count as tolerable.”
• “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Monday is the troll under that bridge.”
• “Monday is a fresh start. It’s never too late to begin a new journey of questioning your life choices.”
• “Push yourself on Monday, because no one else is going to do it for you. Sadly.”
• “Start where you are on Monday. Use what you have. Do what you can. Then complain about it.”
• “A powerful Monday begins with a powerful mindset. And a powerful amount of caffeine.”
• “Rise up on Monday. Start fresh. See the bright opportunity. Or at least see your coffee cup.”
• “Don’t wait for opportunity on Monday. Create it. Or at least create a decent excuse.”
• “Let today be the start of something amazing on Monday. Like an amazing nap later.”
• “Energy, focus, hustle. Start your Monday with all three. Or fake it convincingly.”
• “Your Monday morning thoughts set the tone for your whole week. So think about coffee.”
• “You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way on Monday.”
• “Embrace Monday with positive thinking. Or embrace your bed. Both are valid coping strategies.”
• “Monday is for people with a mission. My mission is to survive until Friday.”
• “Inspirational doesn’t mean delusional. Monday still sucks, but we can laugh about it.”
• “Motivation on Monday: The weekend is only five days away. You can do this.”
• “Persistence on Monday means getting out of bed. Everything after that is overachieving.”
• “Small wins on Monday: Showing up. Staying awake. Not crying in the bathroom.”
• “Progress not perfection on Monday. Just existing is honestly impressive enough.”
• “Self-improvement starts Monday. Or Tuesday. Or maybe next Monday. We’ll see.”
• “Weekly goals: Survive Monday. Everything else is bonus content for the week.”
• “Consistency is key on Monday. Consistently drinking coffee. Consistently surviving.”

Relatable Monday Struggle Quotes

• “Monday blues are a real medical condition. The cure is Friday.”
• “The only blue Monday I accept is a denim one. Casual Friday vibes.”
• “Monday: The perfect day to practice your pretend-to-work skills at maximum level.”
• “Weekend withdrawal symptoms include: sadness, anger, denial, and excessive coffee consumption.”
• “I’m not ready for Monday. Can I get a refund on the weekend? Full price, please.”
• “Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your entire life. Tragic, really.”
• “The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Mathematically proven.”
• “Sunday night anxiety is real. It’s your body preparing for Monday trauma.”
• “Monday isn’t that bad if you’re unconscious. That’s my strategy anyway.”
• “Like the song says, rainy days and Mondays always get you down. Facts.”
• “I don’t like Mondays, especially when they occur on Fridays. Wait, that came out wrong.”
• “Surviving Monday should count as a resume skill under special achievements.”
• “Monday struggle is universal. Rich, poor, young, old—we all hate it equally.”
• “Back to work on Monday feels like being punished for enjoying your two days off.”
• “Already thinking about Friday on Monday morning is completely normal and healthy. Right?”
• “Monday and I have mutual enmity. We’ll never be friends. Best we can do is coexist.”
• “This has been such a Monday. I wish I stayed in bed and yesterday never happened.”
• “Weekend over depression is a thing. Scientists should study it. I’ll volunteer.”
• “Beating Monday blues requires weapons: coffee, humor, and the promise of Friday.”
• “Making Mondays productive sounds great in theory. In practice, I’m just trying not to cry.”
• “Loving Mondays is possible, they say. Those people are lying. They’re definitely lying.”
• “Monday wants me dead. Wednesday wouldn’t do this to me. Friday actually likes me.”
• “Every Monday I contemplate becoming a professional sleeper. The pay is terrible but the hours are great.”
• “Monday mindset: Fake it till you make it till you can go home and collapse.”
• “Mental reset on Monday is just convincing yourself this week will be different. Spoiler: It won’t.”
• “Emotional balance on Monday means balancing between crying and laughing hysterically. No middle ground.”
• “Self-discipline on Monday: Dragging yourself out of bed against every instinct you have.”
• “Self-control on Monday means not telling everyone exactly how you feel. It’s hard.”

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Celebrity and Famous Funny Monday Quotes

• “I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
• “The brain starts working when you wake up and doesn’t stop until you get to the office.” – Robert Frost
• “Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.” – Giorge Leedy
• “When it’s only Monday and my bestie is already having a horrible week, I hunt for memes to send.” – C.S. Woolley
• “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. Half don’t work, the other half aren’t bright.” – Unknown
• “If you think your boss is stupid, you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter.” – John Gotti
• “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so on Monday.” – Douglas Adams
• “The problem with doing nothing is you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
• “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance on Monday?” – Edgar Bergen
• “If you don’t like the road you’re working, start paving another one.” – Dolly Parton
• “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out, including Mondays.” – Robert Collier
• “All you need in life is ignorance and confidence. Then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
• “Monday is great for becoming too busy to die. Productive avoidance.” – Roy Station
• “Dream big, work hard, stay focused, and surround yourself with funny people.” – Carol Burnett
• “There are many Mondays to go before I die. I may as well look forward to them.” – Trevor Carss
• “Whatever you do on Monday, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” – Bill Murray
• “It’s just been a long week. It’s Monday night, Jess. My point exactly.” – Scott Westerfeld
• “There isn’t a Monday that wouldn’t cede its place to Tuesday happily.” – Anton Chekhov
• “If at first you don’t succeed on Monday, try Tuesday. Then quit. No point being a fool.” – W.C. Fields
• “The biggest thrill wasn’t winning Sunday but meeting payroll Monday.” – Art Rooney
• “I have never been hurt by what I have not said on Monday morning.” – Calvin Coolidge
• “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple work payments.” – Steven Wright
• “There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full with Monday.” – Henry Kissinger
• “It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. That’s my fun day.” – The Bangles
• “Monday, Monday, so good to me. Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be.” – The Mamas and The Papas
• “Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day for everyone involved.” – Louise Fitzhugh
• “It was the kind of Sunday to make one ache for Monday morning. Said no one ever.” – Joan Didion
• “Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. Simple pleasures for simple people.” – Arthur Darvill
• “On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men created jerks.” – H. Allen Smith
• “By and large, art is made by people with discipline even if they don’t feel like it on Monday.” – Clive Barker

FAQ’s

What is a good quote for Monday?

A good Monday quote balances humor with motivation, like “Mondays are the start of the workweek which offer new beginnings 52 times a year” or “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays.”

What are 5 short quotes?

Here are five short quotes: “Monday is proof we survived,” “Coffee first, adulting second,” “New week, new chances,” “Monday blues are temporary,” and “Make Monday your motivation.”

What can I post on Monday?

Post funny Monday quotes, coffee photos with motivational captions, meme-style images, inspirational sayings, relatable humor about work stress, weekly goals, or simple Monday motivation messages with good vibes.

How do I caption Monday?

Caption Monday posts with relatable humor like “Monday morning survival mode activated” or inspirational angles like “Fresh start, new week, let’s go” plus relevant hashtags for engagement.

What to say to Happy Monday?

Respond with humor like “Happy Monday? That’s an oxymoron” or sincerely with “Thanks, you too, hope your week is great” depending on context and relationship.

What is a Monday motivation?

Monday motivation is inspirational content shared at the start of the week to boost positive thinking, work motivation, and mental reset, helping people overcome Monday blues with encouragement and optimism.

What is a cool 3-word quote?

Cool three-word quotes include: “Coffee before conversation,” “Monday needs coffee,” “Fresh start today,” “New week energy,” “Survive then thrive,” “Motivation beats exhaustion,” and “Make Monday count.”

What is a quick quote?

A quick quote is a brief, memorable saying under 10 words that delivers instant impact, like “Monday: I’ve got this” or “Coffee solves everything today.”

What are tiny quotes?

Tiny quotes are ultra-short phrases under 5 words like “Monday mode on,” “Coffee first always,” “New week vibes,” or “Hustle starts now” perfect for social media.

Conclusion

Funny Monday quotes transform the start of the week from dreaded to manageable through laughter and relatable humor. These 177 Monday sayings give you tools for surviving Monday with positive attitude and shared encouragement. Remember, Monday only lasts 24 hours, and coffee helps every single one of them pass more smoothly.