150+ Best Funny Good Morning Quotes to Start Your Day with Laughter

This collection of 150 humorous morning quotes will make you laugh, help you survive the morning struggles, and give you the perfect shareable quotes for your friends who also hate waking up early. 

Whether you need Instagram captions, workplace humor, or just a mood booster before facing the day, we’ve got you covered with relatable humor that actually gets it.

Funny Good Morning Quotes for Non-Morning People

• “Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
• “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin
• “Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis
• “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite
• “I hate mornings, they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich
• “Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden
• “Morning will come, it has no choice.” — Marty Rubin
• “Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” — Marlo Thomas
• “I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.” — James Lileks
• “Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” — Punit Ghadge
• “I hate when I dream of alarm clock going off.” — Jarod Kintz
• “In the morning, I woke like a sloth in the fog.” — Leslie Connor
• “Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain
• “So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning.” — Moss Hart
• “There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.” — Kristen Chandler
• “Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” — Rachel Caine
• “The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” — Jean Kerr
• “When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods
• “Mornings are almost clean slates. I say almost because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck on them.” — Medeia Sharif
• “Sunrise is starting to feel like a guilt trip.” — Kris Kidd
• “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” — Mindy Kaling
• “Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.” — William Feather
• “I’m not a morning person. I’m more of a ‘please go away’ person.”
• “Yay, another morning to pretend to be a functioning adult!”
• “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin

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Hilarious Coffee-Themed Good Morning Quotes

• “Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” — David Lynch
• “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black
• “Coffee is a kind of magic you can drink.” — Catherynne M. Valente
• “I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.” — Terri Guillemets
• “A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray.” — Marcia Carrington
• “Love is blind. Especially in the morning, because I can’t see a damn thing before coffee.” — Aleksandra Ninkovic
• “Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness.” — Nanea Hoffman
• “Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.” — Stephanie Piro
• “I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” — Flash Rosenberg
• “To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.” — Hugh Jackman
• “I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.” — Clarke Gable
• “There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.” — Rita Aditia
• “I like my coffee black and my mornings bright.” — Terri Guillemets
• “Caffeine fuels my mornings. And afternoons. And evenings.”
• “Good morning! Today’s forecast is lazy with a 90% chance of coffee.”
• “I need coffee before I can even think about being a person.”
• “Coffee addiction isn’t a problem. It’s a solution.”
• “First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things.”
• “Coffee: because adulting is hard.”
• “May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”

Funny Good Morning Quotes for Friends

• “Wake up sleepyhead! It’s time to face the day and my silly jokes.”
• “Good morning! I hope your coffee is stronger than your urge to go back to bed.”
• “Morning, friend! May your coffee be strong and your hectic day be short.”
• “I’d say ‘good morning,’ but we both know mornings are not meant for us.”
• “Get up, grab coffee and pretend to be adults. That’s my today’s morning motivation.”
• “Good morning, sunshine! (Or should I say, good morning, grumpy pants?)”
• “I want to wish you a productive day ahead, but we both know we’re more into snack breaks and naps.”
• “Let’s skip today and call it the weekend, shall we? I don’t want to wake up.”
• “Good morning! Our today’s goal is to be more awesome than yesterday.”
• “Rise and shine! Or just rise. Shining is optional.”
• “Good morning to everyone except the person who invented Monday.”
• “Sending you good vibes and the energy to not murder anyone before lunch.”
• “Good morning! Remember, you’re not tired, you’re just pre-coffee.”
• “Hey friend, just a reminder that you survived yesterday. Now do it again.”
• “Good morning! Let’s be honest—we’re both still half asleep.”
• “Rise and grind! Just kidding. Let’s rise and whine about being awake.”
• “Good morning! May your day be as nice as your butt.”
• “Waking you up is my favorite morning routine workout!”
• “Good morning! If you need a reason to smile today, just remember you have me.”
• “Morning! I hope you have a day as amazing as you pretend to be on social media.”
• “Good morning! Let’s make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.”
• “I’m not saying I hate mornings, but I’m also not not saying that.”
• “Good morning! Remember to smile. It confuses people.”
• “Rise and shine, bestie! The world needs your sarcasm today.”
• “Good morning! Let’s be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Either works.”

Funny Good Morning Quotes for Work and Coworkers

• “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
• “Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” — Robert Orben
• “Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” — Robert Heinlein
• “My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” — Willie Geist
• “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning.” — Mark Twain
• “Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it.” — Richard Whately
• “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
• “The only good Monday is a Monday in bed.” — Lee Horton
• “When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” — Ella Woodward
• “So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” — Julio Alexi Genao
• “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
• “Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.” — Dave Barry
• “If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.” — Noel Coward
• “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
• “The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job.” — Slappy White
• “Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
• “Good morning! Let’s get this bread, or at least this paycheck.”
• “I’m not a morning person, but I’m a morning employee. Please someone help me.”
• “Good morning! Are you ready to pretend to be productive today?”
• “Every morning I try to be productive… and then I realize that coffee needs to happen first.”

Funny Good Morning Quotes for Him (Boyfriend/Husband/Partner)

• “Good morning, sleepyhead. Time to stop snoring and pretending to be awake.”
• “Good morning, my forever handsome. Now go make me a cup of coffee.”
• “Morning! Just a reminder that you have got the best alarm clock and that is me.”
• “If you need a reason to smile today, just remember you have me.”
• “Waking you up is my favorite morning workout routine. Good morning!”
• “Good morning, king! Now get up and make us breakfast.”
• “Rise and shine, handsome! You must rise but you don’t deserve to shine. (Just kidding.)”
• “Good morning! I love you even when you look like a zombie before coffee.”
• “I know you’re a king but morning procrastination hits kings too.”
• “Good morning! You’re still snoring but I love you anyway.”
• “Morning, babe! Time to adult again. I hate it too.”
• “Good morning! Let’s stay in bed forever. Oh wait, we have bills.”
• “Rise and shine! Or just rise. I’ll handle the shining for both of us.”
• “Good morning! I promise to always cop a feel when you’re trying to get ready in the morning.” — Upton O. Goode
• “Morning! You’re my favorite reason to wake up. Coffee is a close second though.”

Funny Good Morning Quotes for Her (Girlfriend/Wife/Partner)

• “Good morning, beautiful! Now please don’t kill me before you’ve had your coffee.”
• “Good morning, my queen! Your coffee awaits you.”
• “Morning, gorgeous! I love you more than coffee. Almost.”
• “Good morning! You’re beautiful even with bedhead and morning breath.”
• “Rise and shine, princess! The world needs your sass today.”
• “Good morning! I made coffee. Now you have to love me.”
• “Morning, babe! You’re like sunshine. Except you’re grumpy and need coffee.”
• “Good morning! I love you even when you’re threatening murder before 10 AM.”
• “Morning, love! Your beauty sleep was successful. You look like a grumpy angel.”
• “Good morning! You’re the reason I wake up smiling. Also, I need to pee.”
• “Morning, sweetheart! Time to conquer the day after you finish conquering your snooze button.”
• “Good morning, my love! Let’s make today amazing. Or at least survivable.”
• “Morning! You’re my favorite notification. Better than any Instagram like.”
• “Good morning, babe! I love you more than sleep. That’s saying something.”
• “Morning, beautiful! Coffee first, world domination second.”

Short and Sweet Funny Good Morning Quotes

• “Be happy. It really annoys negative people.” — Ricky Gervais
• “Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” — Phil Dunphy
• “Morning not only forgives, it forgets.” — Marty Rubin
• “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.” — Denis Waitley
• “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” — Winston Churchill
• “Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.” — Mitch Hedburg
• “I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn’t like it.” — Sam Goldwyn
• “Good morning! Or as I like to call it, ‘pre-noon.'”
• “I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.”
• “Rise? Yes. Shine? We’ll see.”

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Sarcastic and Sassy Good Morning Quotes

• “What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.” — Timur Vermes
• “I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, ‘aw s***, he’s up!'” — Steve Maraboli
• “I’m sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Frank Sinatra
• “Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
• “Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not?” — J.R.R. Tolkien
• “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker
• “Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.” — Catherynne Valente
• “Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.” — Terry Pratchett
• “I have always disliked the morning, it is too responsible a time.” — Janet Frame
• “Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And some mornings I just let her sleep.”
• “Good morning! I’ll try to be nice today if you try to be less annoying.”
• “Morning: when my coffee needs me more than I need it.”
• “I woke up like this. Tired. I woke up tired.”
• “Good morning to everyone except whoever invented the 5 AM shift.”
• “Rise and shine? I don’t think so. I’ll rise. Shining is asking too much.”
• “Good morning! Today’s mood: coffee and sarcasm.”
• “I’m not saying I hate mornings, but if they were a person, we’d be enemies.”
• “Good morning! I’m ready to seize the day. After I finish this nap.”
• “Morning people are the reason I believe in aliens. Nobody should be that cheerful naturally.”
• “Good morning! Remember, it’s okay to be a glowstick. Sometimes you need to break before you shine.”

Funny Good Morning Memes in Quote Form

• “When you wake up and realize it’s only Tuesday: Monday mornings have entered the chat again.”
• “Me: I’m going to bed early tonight. Also me at 2 AM: researching if penguins have knees.”
• “That moment when your alarm goes off and you question all your life decisions.”
• “Adulting is waking up and choosing which tired you want to be today.”
• “Good morning! Today’s agenda: Coffee. Survive. More coffee.”
• “Nobody: … Absolutely nobody: … Me at 6 AM: Why did I agree to this early morning meeting?”
• “Current mood: Pretending I didn’t just hit snooze four times.”
• “How I feel in bed: Warm, safe, loved. How I feel getting out of bed: Betrayed.”
• “Morning thoughts: Do I really need this job? Yes. Money is nice.”
• “Relatable humor: When your body is awake but your brain is still buffering.”

Celebrity Funny Good Morning Quotes

• “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” — Groucho Marx
• “I wake up laughing. Yes, I wake up in the morning and there I am just laughing my head off.” — Bruce Willis
• “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” — Kurt Vonnegut
• “I would rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth.” — Steve McQueen
• “You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” — Bob Dole
• “When I wake up in the morning, I feel like a billionaire without paying taxes.” — Ernie Banks
• “I put my phone as far across the room as possible the night before to force me out of bed when the alarm goes off.” — Josh Gross
• “My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” — Ray Romano
• “It’s a gray morning. A roll-over-and-snuggle-deeper-in-the-covers morning.” — Kate Messner
• “Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?” — Jeanette Winterson

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FAQ’s

How to say good morning in a fun way?

Try “Rise and shine, sleepyhead!”, “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!”, “Top of the morning!”, “Good morning, sunshine!”, or “Hello, gorgeous human!” for playful alternatives.

What is a unique good morning quote?

A unique quote combines humor with personalization, like “Morning! May your coffee be stronger than your Monday” or references an inside joke that only your friend understands.

How do you make someone smile in the morning text?

Use humor, emojis, personal touches, and good timing—send something relatable about coffee, sleep, or shared experiences that acknowledges their morning struggles with wit.

What can I say instead of “good morning”?

Try “Morning!”, “Rise and shine!”, “Top of the morning!”, “Wakey wakey!”, “Good day!”, “Hello sunshine!”, “Happy morning!”, or “Greetings, human!” for variety.

What’s a flirty way to say good morning?

Use “Good morning, gorgeous”, “Morning, beautiful”, “Hey handsome, time to wake up”, “Good morning, my favorite person”, or “Morning, cutie—you’re my first thought today.”

What’s a creative good morning text?

Get creative with “Just wanted to be your first smile today”, “Coffee alert: time to caffeinate and dominate”, or personalize with specific plans like “Morning! Ready for our adventure?”

What is a good morning quote with a smile?

Try “Good morning! Today is a new chance to be awesome”, “Morning! May your day be as nice as your butt”, or “Rise and shine! The world needs your smile today.”

What is a small quote to start the day?

Short quotes like “Be happy”, “Rise and grind”, “Coffee first”, “New day, new chances”, or “Today will be good” work perfectly for quick motivation.

What are 5 short quotes?

Here are five: “Be kind”, “Coffee and kindness”, “Rise and shine”, “Today is yours”, and “Smile more” for simple daily inspiration.

Conclusion

Funny good morning quotes make mornings suck less by acknowledging that waking up is genuinely hard. They provide laughter, stress relief, and connection through relatable humor about coffee, snooze buttons, and the universal struggle of being human. 

Whether you share them with friends, use them for social media captions, or just read them to yourself while contemplating existence before your first caffeine hit, these quotes remind you that you’re not alone in hating mornings—and that’s oddly comforting.